Tuesday, September 19, 2006

have you ever screwed up this particular thing you thought you were so familar with very badly? have you ever felt the feeling of falling down hard when you expected that you were going to soar?

you thought you were okay. you thought the stuff you practised is enough to gurantee you an A1. you thought you are still the girl who got 92 for her physics. you thought physics is one subject you will never flunk anymore. you thought physics is one subject you can rely on.....

but why did you still panic in the middle of the whole damn exam when you just purely forgot what is the formula for potential difference? why didnt you listen to yourself and take in more deep breaths to calm yourself down? why......

you gave yourself too much pressure. you wanted to live up to your own expectations. you set it way high up there. you overestimated yourself.. serves you right.

rantings.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

my eyes closing. my brain cells dying on me. my hands in pain because of all that writing for the past week... i just feel like giving up. to just step into that fully air-conditioned hall with absolutely nothing in my mind. and perhaps in the midst of that 2 hours paper, i can dream of the impossible - to get an a1 for the paper i gave up on.

one and a half hour ago, i sat down reluctantly with an untouched emath paper one in front of me. now, i'm stuck in front of the laptop trying in vain to relieve a little of guilt off me.

maybe it was the paper. it isn't that i forgot every single thing on emath, even the basics in paper 1. come people, tell me you cannot do that paper too. tell me it's the paper that's hard, not that i'm dumb...

here i go again... trying to find reasons for every irresponsible thing i've done. and with every issue, an excuse will definitely materialise. definitely. no matter how far fetch it is, my puny little brain will still wriggle and turn it's way to allow myself to believe it.

the weekend was supposed for us to rejuvenate. for i end up nowhere, still as tired as before.. all i yearn for is the arrival of tuesday...face the music during mid october when the results are out.. till then, relax.

oh my god. i know i'm screwed with this kind of mentality...

rantings.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Guess i will be whining every single monday.. lol. i'm officially stuck on this show called smile pasta by cyndi and zhang dong liang. it's very very very nice. But what's bad is that only one episode is released every monday..damn.

okay. prelims started.. don't understand how people can consistently study study study and study. perhaps i'm just not that kind of person. tml's ss and chinese paper yet i'm more anxious bout when's my smile pasta's coming out.

i just hope that i will be able to score relatively okay to get into a jc. pray people pray.

rantings.

Monday, September 04, 2006

damn damn damn..

i'm on the verge on whining to every single person i come across this single moment.

It's just there. I can see it, i can imagine how good it will be but i just can't reach out to it!!!!!

Blame the slow advancement of our technology, blame my impatience, blame my extreme desire for it........

nevermind. i will go and sleep and wish that by the time i wake up, it will be right before my eyes..!!!

rantings.