as it falls.. <body>
Sunday, September 17, 2006


my eyes closing. my brain cells dying on me. my hands in pain because of all that writing for the past week... i just feel like giving up. to just step into that fully air-conditioned hall with absolutely nothing in my mind. and perhaps in the midst of that 2 hours paper, i can dream of the impossible - to get an a1 for the paper i gave up on.

one and a half hour ago, i sat down reluctantly with an untouched emath paper one in front of me. now, i'm stuck in front of the laptop trying in vain to relieve a little of guilt off me.

maybe it was the paper. it isn't that i forgot every single thing on emath, even the basics in paper 1. come people, tell me you cannot do that paper too. tell me it's the paper that's hard, not that i'm dumb...

here i go again... trying to find reasons for every irresponsible thing i've done. and with every issue, an excuse will definitely materialise. definitely. no matter how far fetch it is, my puny little brain will still wriggle and turn it's way to allow myself to believe it.

the weekend was supposed for us to rejuvenate. for i end up nowhere, still as tired as before.. all i yearn for is the arrival of tuesday...face the music during mid october when the results are out.. till then, relax.

oh my god. i know i'm screwed with this kind of mentality...



rantings.