as it falls.. <body>
Saturday, April 21, 2007


i sat a long ride of 885 from habourfront today.. halfway through the ride, 855 stopped at a busstop that had 980 and 167, buses that would take me straight home. so for the next five stops or so, i constantly asked myself whether i should alight and wait for these two buses. i was hesitating, wondering if it would made much of a difference. i told myself, 'if the next bus stop still has 980 or 167, i will alight.' then the bus took a turn for a different route and i spent the next few stops thinking about how dumb i was and how much time i will waste..


this is so me...


i have never been able to put my foot down and keep to my words. i never made it to leave when i say i want to leave. i will take a step forward to take three steps backward to realise maybe i never wanted to leave. i will never be able to overcome the inertia within me. to leave without looking back, to leave without asking myself what will happen if i didn't leave.

i will only make a decision when i'm forced to. i will only leave when i need to leave. and that will be time when i'm left behind. the one who leaves first will never feel the departure, it's only the one left behind who feels it. so here am i, feeling all this, screaming at myself for not leaving when i had the chance.


when familarity is memory..



rantings.