Tuesday, May 11, 2010

just came back from a 5D4N phuket trip with jody and guys, including my dear! it was awesome, like way awesome, though i kind of already expected it to be awesome right before we went for the trip. but i can feel our bond strengthening, and its much stronger than before. this trip has also made me learnt many things about dear and it has only made me love him even more.



to be honest, i saw 1001 husband-y qualities in dear and sometimes i really wish that i will be that lucky girl that will become his wife in future. realistically speaking, i know it's really too early to say, and probably a far-fetched dream, but at least, as of now, i would love to be your wife. hahaha. i jus love how dear's willing to take care of me, take my slippers in everytime we walk into the room when i should have been the one doing it. but since i'm someone who will only walk out to take my slippers when i need it, dear will always be the one bringing my slippers in. and how he is willing to pack my stuff for me, hang up my towels and my clothes voluntarily without any grumble or shop with me for the entire day and still remain as focused and helpful (comparing it to bose who complained or showed the super sian face whenever we see him) and many many many more.

day 1

was sleeping on dear's lap on the plane. the first time i ever felt so comfortable on a budget flight, or any flight for that matter, the first time i never needed to pull out earpiece or book so that time will fly by faster cos just being with dear makes every second occupied.

walked around, shopped a little, and dear looked for bras with me. lol. maybe i should really have took a picture! his face was conflicted with emotions while he was poking through the bras. don't worry dear, i'll never make you do that in singapore! haha

drank a bit of beer at margarita bar. sidetracking a little, the male singer was monotonous and he mumbled all the way, totally ruined the songs. and they were all so ugly! haha, but anyway, this is the first time i love alcohol. cos it made our bio lesson a whole lot more passionate. saw a little of dear losing his control, although i think i was mainly the one losing control. haha.

after bathing, i felt this extreme lethargy overwhelming me, and i dragged my feet around the room to change to specs and apply moisturizer and stuff. in the half-asleep-half awake state, i could hear dear moving around the room helping me pack my stuff, putting me to bed and covering me with the blanket. and this is why i say i would love dear to be my husband in future.

day 2

the day filled with action-packed activities. started with atv in the jungle which i totally screwed up cos i couldn't drive it. jus couldn't go straight at all, and kept driving to the trees and getting stuck. so i had no choice but to sit behind dear as he drove us through the entire ride. but after a while, i realised my failure might be a blessing in disguise. cos sitting behind him and hugging him as he brought me on a bumpy and exciting ride through the forest gave me an undescribable warmth in my heart. at that moment, a thought even flashed through my mind - i am contented just hugging my dear, following and going wherever he brings me, just as long as he's the one driving. haha. i know i know, it's super mushy. and how he will always tell me to hold tight when the road gets exceptionally bumpy, it's nice to know he cares.

then it was the elephant ride, nothing special there. jus a bumpy and boring ride. plus it caused dear a backache, which must have been really quite painful judging from his expression. so not good at all.

followed by white water rafting which was awesome. initially i was quite pissed cos i didn't really want to get wet but the people there kept splashing water on us. hitting the leaves till ants fell on our raft didn't help one bit at all. i still remember giving song guang the killer stare when he commented i can jump into the water when i realised there's a lot of ants on my lifevest. hahaha.
but after that when we went into the river, was just plain awesome. the adrenaline of the near toppling raft on the fast flowing river was simply jus wow.

then, there was the waterfall. tiring climb up, freezing cold water.

more shopping.

i can't remember what we did in the room, probably jus more bio lessons? lol

day 3

dear left early in the morning to pick up the car with layjia and all. once again in my half-asleep-half awake state, i could feel dear covering me with his jacket. and giving me a peck on my forehead? no idea if i felt that correctly. but i love that feeling you know, the feeling of waking up to see your loved one doing some simple acts of love but simply too tired and groggy to react and you go back to sleep.

went to the beach, kissed in the waters which was equally nice. beautiful water, perfect environment (no one), the feeling was great.

the day when my menses came full force and my cramps started kicking in, could see the look of worry on dear's face occasionally. could also see the effort dear puts in to make my day easier. once again comparing to bose, who had so much to comment when layjia asked him to give up his seat, dear just seemed like the perfect boyfriend.

drank alcohol and dear got drunk. it was quite funny, he fell flat on the bed the moment he came out from the toilet. and it would be a lie to say that i wasn't disappointed. in fact as i lie on the bed, with dear sound asleep, i was thinking damn, why must he get drunk. i just wanted him to get high so that we can have our passionate bio lesson again! haha.

also the night i couldn't sleep cos of the stupid leaking tap in the toilet. honestly i was totally freaked, and the nervy feeling from not being able to fall asleep as the hours tick by wasn't helping. millions of thoughts went through my mind, i was thinking about the possible reasons of the leaking tap, imagining the possible scenes of seeing a ghost just right there (and that totally didn't help but it just kept coming), recalling the scariest ghost story i have ever heard (which is the one in tekong about this guy commenting i'm so horny i can fuck a female ghost and he really saw one at night. and i couldn't stop my brain from its internal speech and i kept repeating those words, i was so afraid that a ghost will really appear, so it was like saying those words, then oh shit, no i didn't mean it, please i hope the ghost doesn't hear it). till the point i heard dear snort, then i realised maybe i could wake him up. so i did, halfheartedly, cos i wasn't sure if waking him up was a great idea. and when he woke up, he kept patting me and assuring me that everything's fine, i couldn't stop my tears from flowing. it was a mixture of fear of the leaking tap and relief that dear's by my side. but that night, i was really really thankful that dear is by my side, and glad that for the first time, i have someone by my side i can hug when i have such crazy fear spells.

day 4

more shopping. nothing much to say?

because of the freaked incident, i didn't dare to stay in the toilet alone and dear had to company me. it was quite funny how he stands at the corner, not peeking as i did my stuff in the toilet. but it was also then that he proved himself on how much i can trust him and also how much i realised i'm actually comfortable with such intimacy. i'm really quite amazed with how comfortable i am with dear already. wonder what was going through dear's mind as he waited for me? haha. any dirty thoughts? lolol.

as i bathed, and dear stood at the sink, i asked him if he wanted to bathe with me. couldn't really ask it, cos i was too shy so i kept hesitating. but dear kept pushing and asking me to ask. for a moment, i was thinking if he already knew what i wanted to ask. but when the question finally left my mouth, he kept quiet. . he then said that i'm almost done isn't it. took another gamble and said there's still a long way to go, but dear still said its okay. it was the moment i regretted even having such a thought.

i deliberately chose to read my book, creating a barrier between us so that i didn't have to face him when he was done with his bath. cos to be honest, it took a lot to ask. and it was hard to choose, lust or chastity. and as i decide to take the leap and chose lust, i was rejected. turned out, maybe i was the only one feeling that lust.

dear teared later on. he said that its the helplessness from seeing my cramps and being unable to help, but i wonder if it had anything to do with that?

after a while, dear shared his shock when i popped the question. and i asked him what went through his mind. he said three thoughts went through his mind, firstly, he was worried that my hesistance means me being uncomfortable with it. secondly, he was thinking how should he grab his clothes. thirdly, i forgot. lolol. at that moment, i kept quiet, but i was really thinking, damn dear and his self control. sometimes, he thinks too much, and its exasperating which led to the comment, too bad its over then. i was kinda feeling fuck it. haha dear, i know u'll be reading this, and you'll probably feel sad or see me in a whole new different light but i'm saying all these cos we agreed on an open relationship.

but after that, bio was jus fabulous again as we progressed another stage.

day 5

last day. the holiday flew by and it's ending. first time i really felt the intense longing to stay and an intense attachment to a room or a bed that i have only been in for 4 nights. the holiday was a sneak peek to a life where i get to spend every single night of my life with dear. maybe the real movie will never arrive, but im thankful that i have this vacation as a wonderful memory.

day 6 (today)
back in singapore! back to normal lifestyle. back to being a normal couple.

watched the backup plan together. had a couple of kisses in between the show. could actually feel the difference already. as in, compared to how we used to kiss the first few times, and now, seems like we found our rhythm and chemistry already. haha. but as i watch the show and it showed them making out, i was actually thinking, damn i'm seriously going to miss the life in phuket man and i wondered when our next time will come. not soon i guess.. =(

hahah. what a long post. hope you are not exhausted from reading already.

rantings.